A Maximum Wage! Now!

Citizens!

What do we want? A maximum wage!

When do we want it? Now!

The very thought..!

Imagine the squealing! The gnashing of teeth! The wringing of hands! The indignation in expensive suits! The howling of the corporate press! The de-fenestration of economists! The plague of lobbyists infesting the capital! The plummeting sales of Grange futures! The OMGing! The WTFing! The Social Media Prolapse! The mortification of screen jocks and share pimps as the Fifth Horseman Of The Apocalypse, Whose Name Is Moderation, canters through the stock exchange, laughing like a drain!

Oh, the poor dears! Calm. Calm. It’s not going to happen. Promise. Not even if it were conclusively proven in the national interest to reduce income inequality would it happen.   

The New Aristocracy would find such an impost on their greed to be unthinkable.

The New Aristocracy. Yes, the First Estate is back. Not that it ever really went away. It simply shape-shifted and found a means whereby it was no longer necessary to have committed mass murder and stolen immense tracts of land in the past to socially ascend. All that is required to be an aristocrat today is greed, ruthlessness, and the ego to Borrow Big and Borrow More and Carry On Borrowing from fellow aristocrats.

For the Princes and Princelings Of The New Aristocracy make money out of money! How clever is that? They remain rentiers, like their forebears, but instead of accumulating wealth through collection of rent on land, they collect rent on money. Rent from modest loans to peasants, serfs, vassals, villeins – mortgages, insurance, car finance, credit cards – and more impressively, rent – on a gargantuan scale – from loans to the Dukes And Earls of Executive Corporate Management, lounging one level below Princes in the aristocratic hierarchy. Who do not of course pay the huge rents on gargantuan borrowings out of their own pockets – heavens, no! – that is the role of corporate structure. For, as Napoleon recognised, the wonderful thing about corporations is that no-one is responsible! With the result that New Aristocrats may receive multi-million-dollar salaries, supplemented by multi-million-dollar bonuses and multi-million-dollar kiss-offs even when they fail, which is often, and/or more rarely, are caught with their snouts too deep in the trough – too deep being a financial stratum unimaginably deep to the peasantry – and in which unsavoury event the base of the aristocratic pyramid, the Barons and Viscounts Of The Legal Profession – steeped in the finessing of wheeling, dealing, and evasion of consequences – come into overpaid play.

Ruling over all, there is, of course, King Rupert.

And from king down to lowliest overpaid baron, the very idea of a maximum wage is an abomination.

What about the market?, they scream. The market sets salaries! Bollocks! The market does not exist! The market is a chimera, a fantasy of laissez-fairyland. Ned Ludd says!             (see NLS post: 22.09.18)

So..what would happen? Should a visionary government* legislate a maximum wage, not find itself sacked, arrested, disappeared, and/or shot, and the nation not invaded in defence of capitalism by the USA and/or China..

What would happen?

Well, not to put too fine a point, a positive welter of one percenters would flee the country in high dudgeon, along with their ill-gotten gains – assuming such is not already parked offshore (ha!) – buy their way in to wherever unfettered individual wealth remains acceptable, and continue feeding their greed via exploitation of fellow humans.

How could that be anything but good? For the country left behind?

And long term, after the greedy had fled, leaving only the suckers they formerly exploited, this country might be able to recalibrate its needs and wants according to reason, simplify material life, preserve its natural beauty, and arrive at a more equitable, less stressed mutuality.

He’s a dreamer! He’s a dreamer!

The alternative, of course, is to park a guillotine in each and every CBD and get to work chopping.

Ça ira!**

That’s all for now.

Ned

Remember: Cause trouble. And teach your children well.

*yes, yes, oxymoronic **it’ll be OK!


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