A Plague On All Your Gibberish

Citizens!

And lo, the Lord sent a plague of technologies to tempt the man and the woman. And they were tempted and bowed down and worshipped the plague of technologies.

Then the Lord sent a plague of hand-held and other devices, and the man and the woman bowed down and worshipped the plague of hand-held and other devices. In the street, and in shopping malls, and in recreational spaces and especially on public transport did they bow their heads and worship the devices.

And lo, as the people bowed down, the Lord did cause a plague of words to issue forth from their mouths and from their thumbs and from their fingers. Words. And words about words. And words about words about words. And a plague of opinions was set upon the land.

And the names of the opinions were Gibberish, Blather, and Drivel.

Then the Lord made a prophet to come forth and cry “Oh, the jabbering! Oh, the jabbering!” but the people would not listen and they did throw stones at the prophet and cast him out into the desert.

And from the plague of words and the plague of opinions, the Lord did cause a plague of digits to fly unseen through the air. And the plague of digits did multiply, and digits begat digits, which begat digits, which begat digits, until digits did fill the air. And when the air was filled with digits, the air was made solid.

And lo, the man and the woman could not breathe, and died with their heads bowed before their devices.

And relative quiet was once more upon the earth.

That’s all for now.

Ned

Remember: Cause trouble. And teach your children well.

 

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